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Worst one hundred Pick-Up Lines of All Time, Uncyclopedia, FANDOM powered by Wikia

Worst one hundred Pick-Up Lines of All Time

“I have nothing to announce but the fact that you should go out with me.”

Oscar Wilde on Different talk up lines from different subjects

“Say as many as you can, as quick as you can. Don’t stop for any reason.”

Commander Zap Brannigan on the utilization of pick-up lines

Contents

100-91

He’s begging for it.

eighty seven "May I play motorboat?" eighty six "Screw me if I’m wrong, but is your name Iolanthe?" eighty one "I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

So. What do you say? I’m a fine driver.

seventy nine "Wanna take a rail in my truck? It’s a Ford. it’s exotic." seventy seven "I’m a man! You’re a woman! You do the math!" seventy six "You don’t sweat much for a fat chick."

seventy four "Wow, you look like Xena the Warrior Princess! Wanna date?" seventy three "Nice gams; what time do they open?"

Oscar Wilde on that hot chick at the bar fifty two "Hey baby, I’ve got AIDS." fifty one "Mmmmmm. flabwank."

“I bet you 100 quid you can’t turn me hetero.”

Batman on pick-up line 31

thirty eight "My favourite position is The Serial Killer." thirty seven "Get out of your life and into my bed!" thirty six (Thick Arab accent) "Hello. My son likes you!" thirty five "Please, I am needing wifey to get green card, but Immigration is wanting, how you say, proof of consummation." thirty four "I’m Batman." thirty three "Dammit, I creamed my pants again!" thirty two "I have a infrequent tropical disease which will kill me unless I have lovemaking within the next half hour." thirty one "Bet you one hundred quid you can’t turn me hetero."

This is where you commence running.

twenty six "You’re like a fat stump, I’m always falling over you" twenty five "The doctor’s pretty sure the antibiotics worked this time." twenty four "So what do ya say? Wanna love me? Or Raymond, like everybody else?" twenty three "If I had a dime for every time I attempted to pick up a chick, I’d still be poor." twenty two "My friend use to forearm out phone cards that said Smile if you’re horny." twenty one "You’re sexier than my daughter."

Numbers twenty through eleven are too disturbing to put on this list.

Ten "Help me! I’m gay but I’ve been thinking I may actually be straight! Please have hookup with me and liquidate any doubt from my head!"

one "I’m the largest lady-killer in Buffalo since O.J. Simpson."

Zero & Below

Just keep it up, baby.

Yeah, you’re getting there.

-2 "I’m like a Rubik’s Cube. The more you play with me, the tighter I get." -3 "I am the force. Close your eyes and feel me flow through you." -3.14 "Baby, if you were words on paper you’d be fine print." -4 "Hi. I’m insert name here. Want to know what the other one is called? -5 "Gee, this is one warm rubdown table. Oh, wait, it’s you." -6 "I lost my keys. Can I check your pants?" -7 "If you were a woman, I’d so have lovemaking with you." -8 "It’s called "The Barred Kingdom" for a reason." -8.Five "I like my ladies the way i like my peanut butter. CHUNKY!" -9 "Are you a victim damsel? Because you look like you should be." -10 "Are you free tonight or will it cost me?" -11 "Cold out isn’t it? (staring at breasts)" -12 "Hi. You’ll do my grandmother while eating dogfood, right? SCORE. " -13 "I’ve got a knife – get your glaze" -14 "I’ve got my beady eye set on you" -15 "Snipers get more head. Wanna take a shot?" -16 "Would you find it fairly spiffing if I inserted my genitalia into your genitalia?" -16.Five "Ready or not, my clothes come off in ten seconds" -17 "Would you care for a drink? Oh wait I got to put my secret ingredient in." A clever lady would run, a blonde would say, " Is it a fruit flavoring?" -18 "Did you know a teaspoon of sperm only contains two calories?" -19 "Was your dad a cement mixer. Because you are making me hard?" (grind accent) -20 "WHERE DO YOU COME FROM?" (angrily) -21 "Hey baby, wanna sharpen my pencil?" -22 "Roses are crimson, violets are blue, I suck at poems, nice tits" -23 "Hi, I’m part Native American, would you like to rail my totem pole?" -24 "Roses are crimson, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van" -25 "Do you take eftpos?" -26 "Can you man sausage my shotgun?" -27 "Bitch, hope on my dick before I slaughter you like a pig!" Eminem’s choice -28 "I have a job for you but it might "deepthroat" -29 "Roses are crimson, violets are blue, suck my dick and I will pay you" -30 (Spank) "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SUCK!" always works -31 "Would you help me with my math homework? I think I know a formula. You have to add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide your gams and plead you don’t multiply if I am correct." -32 "have ever been nom’d before? (rigidly plant your face inbetween her breasts and say: "NOM! NOM! NOM! NOM! NOM!) -33 "do you work at the post office? because i see you checking out my package. -34 "Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your Bedrock" -35 "my dick just died can i bury it in yo arse. " -36 hey babycakez wanna see me stick my dick in a garbage disposition? -37 My mother’s part black, wanna fuck? -38 finger my butt and ill give you twenty quid -39 I’m a previously convicted rapist, wanna hangout? -40 let’s eat my mum’s asshole for a jolly!! =41 But don’t just smooch my booty, eat my good old cornhole. That’s right, smooch the cheeks, eat the cornhole. And if you don’t like me? Then eat my cornhole ho. EAT IT. -42 Hello! Is it me you’re lookin for! You know just what to say, and you know just WHO to do. and I want to tell you so much. fuck me! PLEASE?! PLEASEE. WOOF WOOF! BARK BARK! -43 Da da da DA da! I’m lovin it! (looks at goods) -44 Welcome to seven Eleven, do you want hot dog? *country boy mocking an indian’s voice* -45 I put the STD in stud now all I need is you -46 (Only works if you are Irish) Have you any Irish in you? Would you like some more? -47 (Only works when the other person is eating with a spoon) Do you have have two spoons? "Why"? That way we can eat together! -48 Hi, I’m Alec Ribblett!

Bonus lines

Roses are crimson, violets are twisted. Ready or not. You’re about to get fisted.

Worst one hundred Pick-Up Lines of All Time, Uncyclopedia, FANDOM powered by Wikia

Worst one hundred Pick-Up Lines of All Time

“I have nothing to proclaim but the fact that you should go out with me.”

Oscar Wilde on Different talk up lines from different subjects

“Say as many as you can, as quick as you can. Don’t stop for any reason.”

Commander Zap Brannigan on the utilization of pick-up lines

Contents

100-91

He’s begging for it.

eighty seven "May I play motorboat?" eighty six "Screw me if I’m wrong, but is your name Iolanthe?" eighty one "I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

So. What do you say? I’m a fine driver.

seventy nine "Wanna take a rail in my truck? It’s a Ford. it’s exotic." seventy seven "I’m a man! You’re a woman! You do the math!" seventy six "You don’t sweat much for a fat chick."

seventy four "Wow, you look like Xena the Warrior Princess! Wanna date?" seventy three "Nice gams; what time do they open?"

Oscar Wilde on that hot chick at the bar fifty two "Hey baby, I’ve got AIDS." fifty one "Mmmmmm. flabwank."

“I bet you 100 quid you can’t turn me hetero.”

Batman on pick-up line 31

thirty eight "My favourite position is The Serial Killer." thirty seven "Get out of your life and into my bed!" thirty six (Thick Arab accent) "Hello. My son likes you!" thirty five "Please, I am needing wifey to get green card, but Immigration is wanting, how you say, proof of consummation." thirty four "I’m Batman." thirty three "Dammit, I creamed my pants again!" thirty two "I have a uncommon tropical disease which will kill me unless I have lovemaking within the next half hour." thirty one "Bet you one hundred quid you can’t turn me hetero."

This is where you begin running.

twenty six "You’re like a fat stump, I’m always falling over you" twenty five "The doctor’s pretty sure the antibiotics worked this time." twenty four "So what do ya say? Wanna love me? Or Raymond, like everybody else?" twenty three "If I had a dime for every time I attempted to pick up a chick, I’d still be poor." twenty two "My friend use to arm out phone cards that said Smile if you’re horny." twenty one "You’re sexier than my daughter."

Numbers twenty through eleven are too disturbing to put on this list.

Ten "Help me! I’m gay but I’ve been thinking I may actually be straight! Please have lovemaking with me and eliminate any doubt from my head!"

one "I’m the largest lady-killer in Buffalo since O.J. Simpson."

Zero & Below

Just keep it up, baby.

Yeah, you’re getting there.

-2 "I’m like a Rubik’s Cube. The more you play with me, the firmer I get." -3 "I am the force. Close your eyes and feel me flow through you." -3.14 "Baby, if you were words on paper you’d be fine print." -4 "Hi. I’m insert name here. Want to know what the other one is called? -5 "Gee, this is one warm rubdown table. Oh, wait, it’s you." -6 "I lost my keys. Can I check your pants?" -7 "If you were a woman, I’d so have lovemaking with you." -8 "It’s called "The Barred Kingdom" for a reason." -8.Five "I like my ladies the way i like my peanut butter. CHUNKY!" -9 "Are you a marionette dame? Because you look like you should be." -10 "Are you free tonight or will it cost me?" -11 "Cold out isn’t it? (staring at breasts)" -12 "Hi. You’ll do my grandmother while eating dogfood, right? SCORE. " -13 "I’ve got a knife – get your cover" -14 "I’ve got my beady eye set on you" -15 "Snipers get more head. Wanna take a shot?" -16 "Would you find it fairly spiffing if I inserted my genitalia into your genitalia?" -16.Five "Ready or not, my clothes come off in ten seconds" -17 "Would you care for a drink? Oh wait I got to put my secret ingredient in." A brainy damsel would run, a blonde would say, " Is it a fruit flavoring?" -18 "Did you know a teaspoon of sperm only contains two calories?" -19 "Was your dad a cement mixer. Because you are making me hard?" (grind accent) -20 "WHERE DO YOU COME FROM?" (angrily) -21 "Hey baby, wanna sharpen my pencil?" -22 "Roses are crimson, violets are blue, I suck at poems, nice tits" -23 "Hi, I’m part Native American, would you like to rail my totem pole?" -24 "Roses are crimson, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van" -25 "Do you take eftpos?" -26 "Can you manmeat my shotgun?" -27 "Bitch, hope on my dick before I slaughter you like a pig!" Eminem’s choice -28 "I have a job for you but it might "deep-throat" -29 "Roses are crimson, violets are blue, suck my dick and I will pay you" -30 (Spank) "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SUCK!" always works -31 "Would you help me with my math homework? I think I know a formula. You have to add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide your gams and plead you don’t multiply if I am correct." -32 "have ever been nom’d before? (rigidly plant your face inbetween her breasts and say: "NOM! NOM! NOM! NOM! NOM!) -33 "do you work at the post office? because i see you checking out my package. -34 "Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your Bedrock" -35 "my dick just died can i bury it in yo arse. " -36 hey babycakez wanna see me stick my dick in a garbage disposition? -37 My mother’s part black, wanna fuck? -38 finger my butt and ill give you twenty quid -39 I’m a previously convicted rapist, wanna hangout? -40 let’s slurp my mum’s asshole for a jolly!! =41 But don’t just smooch my caboose, eat my good old cornhole. That’s right, smooch the cheeks, eat the cornhole. And if you don’t like me? Then eat my cornhole ho. EAT IT. -42 Hello! Is it me you’re lookin for! You know just what to say, and you know just WHO to do. and I want to tell you so much. fuck me! PLEASE?! PLEASEE. WOOF WOOF! BARK BARK! -43 Da da da DA da! I’m lovin it! (looks at pubes) -44 Welcome to seven Eleven, do you want hot dog? *country dude mocking an indian’s voice* -45 I put the STD in stud now all I need is you -46 (Only works if you are Irish) Have you any Irish in you? Would you like some more? -47 (Only works when the other person is eating with a spoon) Do you have have two spoons? "Why"? That way we can eat together! -48 Hi, I’m Alec Ribblett!

Bonus lines

Roses are crimson, violets are twisted. Ready or not. You’re about to get fisted.

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